no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
