me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
