I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
