Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
