Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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