Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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