Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
