you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
