Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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