It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
