I'm lost and stupid without you.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
