I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
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