I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
