i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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