Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
