I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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