Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
