yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
