he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I could fuck to npr.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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