your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
