i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
