is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
