Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
