Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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