She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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