big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
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I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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