Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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