I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Shame - the story of my life.
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