I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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