brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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