shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
