I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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