so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Houston, we have a blender
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize