"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize