I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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