took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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