I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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