awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
