his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
