even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
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So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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