While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
