I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
