Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
