i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
