your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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