Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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