I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
