dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Alive.
So much puke
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
