i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
