Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize