he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My life is pants optional.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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