I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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