Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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