We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I touched a dick in church today
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
