Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
