Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
