Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've blown a few things in my day
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
