Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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