butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize