there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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