If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
wow bdsm is so cute
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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