i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
