grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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